“I might be a biology teacher, but I’m here to have chemistry with you.”

“I might be a biology teacher, but I’m here to have chemistry with you. ” -Contestant, The Bachelorette

I don’t feel like being tentative about this any longer. I’ve decided that my avocation will be writing. Everything lately has been pointing to it, both consciously and subconsciously. Little cues from everything to do it. And it makes me happy when I am writing, even if what I’m producing is turd-like. I’m ok if this never even produces any income for me, because I love it so. I just. want. to. do. it.

Also, to be honest, any other hobby wouldn’t work with my work schedule. I spend around 3 hours a day commuting. And all this time spent commuting means that any other activity (art classes, underwater basket-weaving, etc) is going to be downright impossible for me to get to without collapsing in exhaustion at the end of the day. And I can spend my breaks at work writing, but it’s hard to bust out any other kind of equipment.

I’m doing some more plotting for the Camp Nanowrimo project; I’ve decided to go with the Scifi Culvert story first, in June. In July I’ll do plotting for the chick lit novel, and write in either August or November. If I decide to be really impressive with one of the two I’ll write another 50k words for November’s Nanowrimo.

Got over the bout of food poisoning I enjoyed this past weekend–haven’t yakked like that since I was 7. So happy to be back to normal.

Trying to get back into the swing of things…

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“look pretty.”

“look pretty.” -my mother

8:10AM
Twenty minute write–I have a meeting at 8:30AM. Such is life when one works for a multinational corporation with offices on the other side of the planet. This morning I woke up at 6:19AM; I know! I know! So early. But it was a natural wakeup, not alarmed. Which was weird? I went to sleep around 10PM last night, and according to my tracker got around 7.50-8 hours of sleep, which is good enough for me. I feel rested. Still, I am disturbed by these early wake ups as I really like getting up at 7. Traffic is good this morning considering the still inclement weather.

Mom is coming with her artist friend for lunch today (she sold one of his paintings for $180,000 a few weeks ago). I find it irksome that she told me yesterday to “look pretty.” What am I, some kind of goddamn pony?

This week feels like it’s dragged on for-ever. Carter and I will probably go see Cabin in the Woods friday night (date night! Also, Joss Whedon!! Who is probably the only person in all of Hollywood who could make me eager see a horror movie). Saturday morning we’ll go for a hike, and he has a fraternity alumni event on Saturday night, and we’ll drop Beastie off Sunday morning at mom’s since Carter will be in DC next week. And I’m cooking dinner for Carter, Skye, and myself on Sunday night. So pretty busy this weekend. But god, how I live for the weekends now…they are wonderful.

11:26AM
I love 3/4…waltzes and all the rest. Or 6/8. Listening to lovers’ carvings by Bibio.

3:21PM
Lunch was quite good actually. The artist (and his wife, who is half his age–my age!!) came and went on a fun spree here  like it was Disneyland. They tore through the cafe (the artist loves salmon sashimi. What can I say? I think he ate .5 lb of raw salmon. Grizzly-bear style). And then his wife flat out asked if there was ice cream (and of course there was). They overfilled their cups and delicately sprinkled the toppings over the teetering tops of the ice cream. It was fun to watch them enjoy the campus–they loved the displays and the cafes generally. They brought me a kilogram of chocolate truffles, which are now on the shelf next to my desk, for the gustatory enjoyment of the legal department. I drew eyeballs and sharp pointy teeth on the package plus an “eat me!!!” command on the packaging. I hope that they will be gone this week so that I will not eat them (all).

“Things most people do naturally are often inexplicably difficult for me.”

“Things most people do naturally are often inexplicably difficult for me.” Bossypants, Tina Fey

Unlike most people, I love Mondays. Love them! It has to do with the cycle of emotional states that I experience throughout a week:

Mondays: refreshed by the weekend! Have many many goals to accomplish this week! Aggressively hacking away at the to-do list!
Tuesdays:  a little worn by the sound and fury of Monday; starting to dawn that the weekend is still 4 days away.
Wednesdays: the bootstrap day. It’s hump day! Everything will be ok. Let’s get down to it. Gosh, there is still a lot to do on the to-do list.
Thursdays: there is no way I am getting through this to-do list by the end of the week. But at least tomorrow is Friday. Should I even bother to go to the gym today?
Fridays: morning–rounding off the to-dos. The vital stuff gets done. Some of the extra stuff gets taken care of, especially if there’s a secondary deadline next week. Try to stay awake. Afternoon–total productivity meltdown.
Saturdays: a blur of activity and/or non-activity
Sundays:   a blur of activity and/or non-activity

And, we’re back to Monday. So I really have three days (ok, 2 and 1/2) where I am naturally super productive: all day Monday and Wednesday, and half of Friday. Tuesdays and Thursdays are decently productive because I force myself to be so. Friday afternoons are kaput.

***
Yesterday I did get more than a few things done at work, and attended a departmental career expo where I talked briefly with an HR person. It was refreshing and reassuring to realize that my company is big and there are other options for me (if I’m willing to work for them). I like my current position and team and have no immediate desire to leave, but projecting 5-10 years I want to make sure that I’m not stuck (unless I decide to be). It was damn hard getting my current position, so I appreciate having it and want to make sure that I’m doing a good job now.

Carter and I talked about my career paths before sleep last night–we always get into these discussions in bed, in the dark, right before we’re supposed to be sleeping; so bad for the sleep cycle. And we discussed the impact that children will have on whether I’d stay in my current position, or why I might want to seek something else, and so on. Two years ago I would not have expected to be having this sort of conversation–mature! Forward-thinking! Serious! What has happened to meeeeeigrewupsomehow.

Today: email HR person for followup, get some work out the door, ballet in the evening.

“Here pause; pause at once.”

“Here pause; pause at once.” Villette, Charlotte Bronte
Monday and Tuesday were productive work wise, and not so much reading or writing-wise, although I did finish formatting asitwas. I think a little more tweaking is needed on Well Read Well Fed–I’m not satisfied with the template–and then it’ll be ready to go. I need ideas for a first entry: maybe the peanut butter whole grain muffins Carter and I made yesterday night, or some old favorite to kick off the blog (leeks and butter on toast?). Or maybe a review of a cookbook (I’ve got a new cookbook on Chinese cooking during the cultural revolution which looks fascinating/delicious). I’ll make Carter a fan of Chinese food yet.
In the past week since I resolved to do more reading and writing, what’s been my progress? It hasn’t been much better than usual, although I believe that the awareness of it itself is some progress. I did get through most of The Sheik, and almost ready to review it soon. And the blogs are set up, although that’s the easy part.
Yesterday work was what work usually is, and I came home around 6. After the wild trip this weekend I hadn’t really had the chance to unpack or organize the 2nd bedroom, so I did a little bit of that. I also shook off the cloudy post-work exhaustion and cooked some bolognese sauce from scratch; Carter came home and got started on the peanut butter muffins, so we got a lot of cooking-from-scratch done for a weekday. He will probably subsist on the rest of the bolognese for the rest of the week, and the muffins for breakfast. The rest of the night I spent with Carter in front of the TV; we saw the new episode of Community and that was that. I took my evening shower on the early side.
Aside from the usual work stuff, today my goals are to finish blog formatting, finish The Sheik, and pull together a review of Villette…I’d also like to pick a new book to start, and do a little tidying of the living room–it’s Beast-tastic, with toys and assorted puppy stuff strewn everywhere.
Schedule-wise: work, meeting, gym, lunch, work, meeting, shuttle home.
Currently reading: The Sheik, Villette