“Everything in life is just for awhile.”

pink flowersErica bracteata (sp?) for sale at the Botanical Garden at Golden Gate Park, Dec. 31, 2013

“Everything in life is just for awhile.” -Philip K. Dick, A Scanner Darkly 

Good day, 2014. The last year was a blur; a good blur, mind you, but it’s the fastest moving year yet in recent memory. I remember my beloved 8th grade English teacher telling me that as she got older, each year went by faster and faster and faster. My adolescent bestie and I scoffed at the notion – we were still floating in the infinite possibility of childhood – but it’s true, time feels fleeter and fleeter of foot.

Part of that was the wedding and the honeymoon that followed, but the responsibilities grow year by year, and the more things there are to think about, the faster time goes by. I’m sure that if/when little ones enter the picture, the days and months will accelerate from a light jog to a sprint. I hope I can keep up.

I spent the last day of 2013 wandering around Golden Gate Park, convincing my husband to play hooky and explore the Park with me and follow up said adventure with pastrami subs + cherry pastries. There was an Amazing Race marathon to midnight and fireworks cracking over the neighborhood.

So far in 2014 I’ve bombed a job interview and gotten sick with something that the doctor today said is “probably a virus,” which has turned me into a slack-jawed zombie over the last week. I’m sure I’ll recover, but at the moment it feels like a balloon has inflated inside my skull and is threatening to detach my head from the rest of me at any moment. Last night, I spent some time googling my symptoms and told Carter that according to the internet, I think I’d come down with cancer/diabetes/heart attack/mild eczema.

I’m insisting on optimism this year so this week’s wins are as follows:

      • Least painful blood draw ever this morning! The lab tech clearly hated his job and ignored/resented my cheery chatter about how nice the weather was. However! His phlebotomizing was superb! I’ve had eyebrow-hair-tweezings that were more painful than that blood draw.
      • I didn’t have to pee in a cup, a procedure that always generates an undue amount of mental strife
      • I’ve been enjoying a new teapot.
      • Carter’s law school applications are done!
      • Beast hasn’t eaten any shoes since 2013!
      • My job promotion + raise went into effect.
      • Carter made creme brulee last night and it was delicious. And there are still 4 more dishes of it…

Tonight is first night of figure drawing, and I am dragging my feet to attend. Partly because I’m sick, and partly because it’s a one semester commitment. I remind myself that drawing is like meditation for me, when I’m in the right moment; it’s restorative and healing and wonderful in the best ways. I have no ambitions of doing art as anything more than recreation, but it is the best recreation, very good for me. But curmudgeon-me is dragging her feet, and wondering why we can’t just go home early, throw a sick-person-pity-party, eat creme brulee, and watch tv.

Will report back on who triumphs.